...

2011-01-27T07:47:00.001-08:00

:)

there is nothing i really want to do anymore
for real

what is this all about

risk is overrated

but i see where that comes it

nope lie

cake.

2011-01-22T01:44:00.000-08:00

:)

what is the point

why is it such a mess.
actually there is no mess at all.
ah i am enlightened

nobody's being very fair at all

i am too honest for all this. calculating risks has never been a forte.

lies, all of it.

so is this how you play ):

2011-01-10T00:44:00.000-08:00

:)

it has come to nothing

i dont even know what im doing here. i think i live for comfort.

that is not a very comforting thought.

i am so tired.

when i finish this, i think i will leave

it is nice to have a goal
when there is nothing else

i dont know why i am so sad and scared to say it
but please get out of my life

2010-12-07T03:56:00.000-08:00

:)

sometimes i dont understand.

wtf was i thinking
wtf do i even see in it.
because i am increasingly annoyed
i cannot stand that wheedling voice
and meaningless words
coupled with complete inaction
sometimes i feel like saying stfu

but then i always doubt
maybe i am not appreciating the good things enough
maybe im being unreasonable

but i am not enjoying it.
i wonder what you think

fucking liar

2010-12-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

:)

is it a kind of dream
floating out in the tide
following the river of death downstream
oh is it a dream
theres a fog along the horizen
a strange glow in the sky
nobody seems to know where you go
and what does it mean
oh is it a dream
bright eyes burning like fire
how can you close and fail
how can the light that burned so brightly
suddenly burn so pale

i realised that i am scared that people i like die
what if you suddenly come across something really awesome and have to tell them
and you dont have enough time to spend with everyone

i also just realised that i am really scared of dying myself
well at least my present consciousness is scared of disappearing forever (assuming that's right).

i am also scared that karma and rebirth is true and i will have to re-live secondary school. and dentists and jabs and exams.

i am scared of so many things.

someone please tell me what to do

(note: rhetorical question and not a plea for religious input)

2010-12-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

:)

through the monsoon beyond the world
till the end of time where the rain won't hurt
fighting the storm into the blue

and when I lose myself I'll think of you

2010-11-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

:)

i have no refuge

it is extremely cold outside. i know it even though i am inside. because it is cold inside too despite the existence of a heater. which is going to switch itself off (magick. i hate remote control technology) in about an hour. i am shivering in advance. i hate this place and it hates me.

and i know i will miss it so much. we have a strange relationship indeed.

it's scary we are all planning goodbyes and being sentimental.
to be honest i never expected this. but i am glad for it.
i hope i dont cry hahaha
nah i wont

all the possibilities.
not enough to make me stay.
not enough to let me leave whole.
people are inherently messy i suppose we leave ourselves everywhere

i do wish i had met you elsewhere. some other time.
with more time to spare.

it is especially sad when you know you will probably never see the other again.

for the first time, forever makes a bit of sense.

:)

2010-11-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

:)

i like it

when

sometimes you meet somebody. and have so much fun. and have dinner for three hours. and make funny plans.

and i hate it too.

---

brief snapshots of an impossible life

i think it is all about place, and timing

it is good to know that there are other people besides just your person

after a while, the memory wont be so vivid anymore

i guess we just have to enjoy it while it lasts

i want to be in the zone forever

whatever that means.

2010-11-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

:)

i have a lot of work
but im going somewhere every weekend/week
so much faith in myself that i will be able to finish everything
inertia is greater than my discipline
i should have started on it ages ago
if i were an inanimate object i think i will be a ricecooker
probably made by some lousy brand
):

but i just got something i really want
one of the things i really want
perhaps next time when i look back
i will think that i used to place emphasis on the wrong things
and that i should just relax more
because holidays are meant for that
but for now, i am happy
enough

and there is something in another area i do not have
and probably might never have
this one is really strange because it seems like we should have it
but somehow
bad timing i suppose
it never happened
we are good committed people
and cannot bear to do it
we will just go out nonetheless
and pretend
that everything is what it isnt

isnt that how it is most of the time

i am so incoherent today
but it is a cold day
last night i could hear the wind against my window
this is a chilly place
so pardon me and have a good one

:)

2010-10-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

:)

i am so young and naive

once people grow on me i cannot let them go. and i cannot get angry for real.

and some people just dont work the same way

i wish i never knew you

i wish there were some way to un-meet people. and never make the same kind of associations that tie you up so bad

no hands to swim with

(stella was a diver and she was always down)

2010-10-17T04:11:00.001-07:00

:)

it is so sad.

i am so bored with you.

i have nothing to say to you and vice versa i can tell.

why do i even bother.

and im jealous. of something. that i shouldnt be of. hahah.

i need to learn some risktaking.

Life is so unfair

2010-10-14T04:54:00.001-07:00

:)

if i go by gut feel

i would dump you right now

maybe i am too cautious and that is costing me my life. i am scared of being impulsive when i actually am. strange.
------------

2010-09-28T02:40:00.001-07:00

:)

maybe it's good.

maybe it's good to be far away.

might not be able to like each other otherwise.

2010-09-23T09:49:00.001-07:00

hi

i am so confused.

agfgfahg
dhag
hgf
hgf
hgfhgsfjhjg

I NEED TO TALK MORE

to you. with you.

i need to talk like really talk. not just taking jabs at each other. missing each other.

thats not talking.

with him i have long conversations.
proper talking full of new nouns every minute.

not lame standalone comments.

that elucidate...........Nothing At All.

that's why i dont know you
even though it has been so many months.

unless you're just like that.
boring.
dry.
that it?

please surprise me

it has been a long time.

2010-09-09T07:36:00.001-07:00

u know what

no you dont.

hahahahahaha.

sometimes i think youre the nicest person on earth and i miss you so much.

but sometimes, i think it's a con.

you're a con

reinforcing the idea that youre so nice

funny

real funny

maybe i give too much for nothing in return

i think im the nice one

and what for

it just hit me

you say i look at you with a face of disgust

sometimes, just sometimes i let it slip

but no i love you

right?

stop asking such questions

stop making me say things

sigh

you know what

It's not enough

i dont think u know how to like somebody

and im afraid that other people do

so what makes you better than them

2010-08-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

:)

i am starting to think that it's a joke.

hahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahfuckthejoke'sonme

2010-07-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

i hate doing this

three times. oh i dont have the latest javascript update so i cant display the page right. oh really. i click on the java button. OH IT SAYS I DO HAVE THE LATEST RECOMMENDED VERSION.

ok i click to go back. OH SESSION EXPIRED. ok fair enough.

round two of filling in all my contact info and uploading a photo.

oh how come i still cant fill the last page in. ok java check. that's alright. okay try again

OH now you tell me im in the midst of a payment and i cant make a new one until i terminate that one. HOW? INTERROBANG

three rounds of loading bloody webpage (three pages of info to fill in)

wow your online application is so efficient.

WTF

okay chillaxing.

FML

2010-05-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

:)

i hope you had a happy day

everybody deserves a happy day. whether it is candyfloss or lots of studying done or weight loss or having somebody text you back really quick or having somebody you really want to talk to talk to you or UNICORNS stop being a crackhead or having a really good conversation when you least expect it or perhaps a quiet day with nothing at all, happening, though something is always happening somewhere

(but how can that be. there must be like a moment of a fraction of a second when everybody is absolutely restful. maybe before dinos)

and so i hope you had a happy day. which means that you would be less mean to me and everybody else. and make for many happier days.

SO BE HAPPY LIKE NOW NOW NOW
=D GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

now? please?

but maybe it just doesnt work that way.

2010-04-18T09:04:00.001-07:00

:)

hi

you are too far away for me to wave for you to take notice. but it's okay. know that i send a greeting.

trust me i waved.
i learned from young to keep my word. and other things close to your heart.

if you close your eyes and mentally squint, maybe you can make out an image of strawberries and pinatas and buildings and height and fast cars and blackberries and black eyeshadow and vodka bottles and music and strobe lights and maybe even me amongst the flotsam of your life. and maybe other people. and maybe even some unicorn dust candy floss clouds.

do i sense a grimace from ten miles away. light years maybe

and you are too far away to get close. you match, but not click in place. clikkityclikkityclack

and you, you. you are too far away from what i want. ten miles maybe. light years maybe.
(how badly. how much.)

or maybe im too far away from everything
sitting here and blaming everything
but what else is there to do
(sing and dance till some blind hand shall brush my wing)

2010-03-27T23:26:00.001-07:00

:)

skip a day! im so happy now. because i thought it was monday. when it was actually sunday. hahahaha wth

need icecream

how coherent

2010-03-16T03:24:00.000-07:00

:)

haha it has been some time!

i just had a chocolate icecream with fudge brownie pieces and cookie dough. i must be really depressed.

but certainly not. there's no time for that

i woke up to green tea and a slice of banana bread. had six hours of lessons straight. im so happy the twentyfive per cent thing is over now i can sit and relax in the seminars.

and the day was rounded off with brown rice and palak paneer. oh yes and icecream. and that completes my day in food. oops forgetting a peach

bonus points

2010-01-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

:)

it is very frustrating. double standards of any kind. the worst part is that the perpetrator is usually oblivious or ignorant or arrogant.

and you cant expect people to point it out. natural defences and excuses, you know.

but i might be doing the same thing. maybe. different degree maybe.

nonetheless. some things you have to realize yourself

but who says it has to be fair anyway.

but it could be a lot more comfortable.

2010-01-11T05:40:00.000-08:00

:)

it has been some time

i feel that i have less and less free time. it is ridiculous. i need secular sabbath

i hate it (even if i might have been guilty of it. sigh i am reformed) when people ask "what do you do in your free time". real free time is secret.

i have this bruise larger than a dollar coin. i am amazed i can be so many colours! someone should invent like a bruise tattoo technique. ok maybe not.

i cant believe that one day i have to work. then what is there after that. actually dont tell me.

i also realised that all my sentences, almost, begin with "i". you see, it's because i cannot speak for others. (attempt at explaining selfcentredness away. ah noble i am!)

i shall go off now and

i shall wish you all good day

2010-01-02T02:30:00.000-08:00

:)

there is like a lot to see but nothing to say it can never be the same anyway

i think.

i have this false security that you probably have too

have a painless year ahead.

2009-11-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

:)

..........................................

yayicantwaittogobackyay

one year just went by like that. this is worrisome. flicker is very wellnamed. though i do not subscribe. photostreams is a nice phrase. reminds me of ff life streams haha

it is so hard to know. to even predict. but nvm that makes it more exciting

ok im so tired goodnight

(no)strings attached.
?

ah. bye

2009-11-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

:)

telephones and old typewriters
words of love along the wires
telegraphs and birds that fly
through air so still you hear me sigh
but nothing is working tonight.

am i not appreciating some things enough (and giving others too much weight)

i used to think that if one continues being nice to nasty people they will feel guilty and stop being nasty haha but that is too naive. they may not appreciate it. or trust you. some people think that everything you do is for some material motive. or superficial.

but it is good to continue being nice anyway because why let someone like that change you? but maybe it's time to put more effort elsewhere. not severence. but just less weight perhaps.

and will always operate in civil spheres. i think i cannot do otherwise unless im extremely close to somebody, close enough to care enough to say enough and know enough. of the matter and most of all, the person. and even then, to refrain from harsh speech. that's reserved for gaming hahaha

because it does nothing good in and of itself. and i reckon id never have a serious word to say to people i really know because they are not of the kind of harsh hard rashness. people do not do things without some reason, rational or otherwise. i am sure you will understand. i am sure i will understand.

and by the way, this is completely random. must be pre-exam stress. i should be responding by mugging like crazy but apparently not. ohdear

alright time to go.

2009-10-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

:)

what is this becoming.

and more importantly, what am i doing here. exams in two weeks (in fact, less). why has my sense of urgency and discipline dissipated T_T (actually in the first place i wonder if i ever had such possessions. i just realised ive never had a rubriks cube. but i had a tamiya car. and i am going to buy that pretty set of dice. should i should i. ok wth outofpoint sorry)

mistake one two three four. damn the snowball effect in this damn cold place without snow (but i got caught in hail. what sense does it make)

to be honest i was happy for the first five min then it got unbearably cold.

i am scared it is this way with other things too.

but it is getting warm here now cept for today and yest cos it rained. felt like singapore for a bit lol.

i cant wait to get back

:)

2009-10-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

:)

only..say, fifty more days?

ohgosh. sleep and wake up fifty more times. that's quick. another year ending. im glad everybody dies at different times. doesnt make getting older feel so bad for anyone

boohoo place of lies.
will give up now, honestly.
this is no haiku.

-.-

try one, and try two
guess it always comes down to
alright, it's okay
guess it's better to turn this way
and i am nothing of a builder
but here i dreamt i was an architect

......

2009-09-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

:)

this is a really strange place.

sometimes i wish i were somewhere else. but i cant be thinking such thoughts just one year into this haha. and it isnt too bad. maybe im meeting the wrong people. doing the wrong things.

well who's to tell me.

now i just feel like skating through the night in ecp listening to music. sounds retardedly emo. but nah just need a break from everything haha have got to do something im used to doing last time. feels more grounded, yea.

yet i dont think i need anything at the moment. just less interruption and interference. stuff here messes me up haha. ruffle.

but it's just a breeze. gently does it.

:)

2009-09-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

:)

last week of school before the two week break
(no more motivation to do work lol. and in the first place, not much to begin with)

so this is all it comes down to. i think i have always known. but never realised. really different realms, knowing and understanding. im kind of indifferent already actually. it might be the wind.
you just push people away. but maybe i do too. ah i dont want to think about anything.

and the weather's actually turning nice walkitywalkitywalk

:)

2009-09-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

:)

and i know, not a keepsake.

i should be reading electrolux
then again i should be reading do androids dream of electric sheep
and then again midnights children. i cannot believe i say i want to marry rushdie but i havent read that. but everyone should be exposed to haroun. i still think it is the best. rave rave gush gush. maybe u'll think it's childish. but it is still awesome. okay very logical. cannot say more cos i dont want to spoil

in the twilight strip
khattam-shud

the world however, is not for fun

:D

2009-09-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

:)

asjhgjghkdjfgahjkgsjhgfg

i shdnt nap in the afternoon so much. everytime i do i have ridiculous dreams which leave me damn depressed when i wake up. and i remembered this one! ok let me tell u. ha. i dreamt that i was on a bus in singapore. and some person i know here was sleeping at the back of the bus on some guy's lap (interrobang). and i was dating my female primary sch classmate. hahahaha ok thankfully it was only a dream.

right.

then i have been consuming lots of junk. and not doing work. ok as if you care

and i still love soco.

i cant imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
where the lights are turned down low

i dont understand all the things youve seen
but im slipping in between

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NwJWWnn-cw&feature=related

so cute with the piano ha XD

and you dont want to be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past.

and even though he's a bit overly enthu. hurricane is so awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKXq3uuFyaA&feature=related

and apparently. they are getting back together again. yay! but ah not like theyd ever come to aus or sg. lucky people like tianni. darn :p

ok i think id only ever pay for soco or breakingbenjamin. woo

when the first star you see may not be a star

but now i am also looping
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsy9p_j0bbc

I am the red in the rose, the flowers
on the blankets on your bedroom floor
And I am the gray in the ghost that hides
with your clothes behind your closet door
I am the green in the grass that bends back
from underneath your feet
And I am the blue in your back alley view
where the horizon and the rooftops meet

The black in the book
the letters on the pages that you memorize
And I am the orange in the overcast
of color that you visualize
I am the white in the walls that soak up
all the sound when you cannot sleep
And I am the peach in the starfish on the beach
that wish the harbor wasn't quite so deep.

If you cut me I suppose I would bleed the colors
of the evening stars.
You can go anywhere you wish cause I'll be there, wherever you are

(i will always be your keys when we're lost in the technicolor phase)
- owl city

2009-09-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

:)

dumdeedum
deedumdee
dumdeedum

ok that was pointless. but suddenly, even that is alright.

i must be mad now. i need to sit down, engage brain, and think. no more mistakes please. i suck at math and i suck at this too. ohwell. it's like. i dont know. this is very coherent i know im glad you appreciate it ok now im conversing with myself again

ARGH.

2009-09-11T21:04:00.001-07:00

:)

i had an awesome sleep today (ie. many hours) after not sleeping for one day. what an excuse. but somehow i felt pretty good running on empty. but of course not in terms of sugar and the usual additives. yumm i had the best iced chocolate on earth heh yest not that ive tried all iced chocolates but aye im trying to make it sound impressive.

but now after slacking away my week (justified using monday's workload) i have no more excuses left to explain more waste of time money etc so it is time for work and apple and broccoli T_T

aw this is so boring bye

one thinks of all the hands
that are raising dingy shades

2009-09-05T03:49:00.001-07:00

:)

i have so much work.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

wind. swept.

yea thats what ure like.

2009-08-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

:)

im still mad about undertow after three days of continuous looping.

dumdeedum. have a good weekend.

2009-08-21T19:53:00.001-07:00

haha i was so not into the mood for work and have thus been reading too much perrybible and xkcd

2009-08-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

:)

i am swamped (in exciting things like work)

and every week goes by just like that. when every day just vanishes like that i feel kind of old. (even though im not weaned off strawberry milk) and not really entertained by anything. much. curse of empathy. or maybe this post catches me in a drained state at a very tiring time. disinterested. not that im asking for trouble though maybe i should stop whining and be contented with dadada.

and i dont like this.
dont vanish like my days now

caught in the undertow
why does the night win me always.
all the wind at your eyes at your eyes at your eyes
no one forever young
you pick the storm you pick the shore
both take you to the floor.

:)

nothing solid beneath your feet. and there is game by the same name. which looks amazing. hmm. shucks im an addict

2009-08-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

:)

actually a smiley is unwarranted.

some people just annoy me. i think they have issues. (actually, i know for sure, but i dont like certainty cos it always betrays. just like you.)

extremely civil i see. but well what am i expecting from an....well. no further comment.

i also dont like the vending machine, because it ate my money.
(which was for strawberry milk)

woe.

2009-08-08T11:24:00.001-07:00

:)

it is getting cold. (classic statement. arent you bored already)

maybe it is a singaporean thing because i kind of like just wearing tshirts around. cant be bothered about jackets etc. but of course i am not entitled to this option. there is this sudden wave of patriotism because it is national day soon.

(no holiday here though T_T so im not feeling much of a patriot anymore)

but have a good parade pvl and chunt and cw :D

sometimes i dont know what im thinking
(i think i wasnt even thinking at all.)

if i were a computer i bet i restart and erase history every few weeks.
good on me.

2009-08-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

:)

i dont like cats

but this is cute!

haha

uh have been too lazy (and life too unhappening) to update. zzz

third week of school commencing next week. ive got not much of a mood though. must be the weather. damn it's cold.

but ive got mondays off!

but ive got 9am lessons tues to fri.

but im still free enough to make things like

this

which is called clafouti. which i cant even pronounce. some custardbased thing. but i kind of like it.

cos got cherries heehee.

you know, actually i have nothing to say -.- explaining the photos.

hmmm. ndp coming up haha good luck ppl

omg i real have nth to say. i shd be mute. no i shouldnt omg

ok byebye

2009-07-16T09:48:00.001-07:00

:)

it has been a good holiday (albeit a short one)

once in a while i feel that nothing makes sense at all and i should just go ahead and say many things but there is the problem of regret

we are so impulsive that the night before we scrolled through the list of places where the coach goes and randomly selected one that looked nice and booked everything in one night and decided to bake too and therefore ended up not sleeping then took the seven thirty am bus and ended up there and stayed the night and here we are back at canberra. what a somewhat sad end -.-

ohwell. i end here to go play game XD

2009-06-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

:)

omg it is five am and i have an exam tmr at nine yay all hail me

and im looooping loop looopy

looping this :D awesomeness

The sun it has passed
Now it's blacker than black
I can hear as you tap on your jar
I am listening to hear where you are

There is no reason to grieve
The world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves

And I will take you and leave you alone
Watching spirals of white softly flow
Over your eyelids and all you did

wait until the point when you let go

havent had a song/band i really liked in a long time.
please let me send it to you on msn.

:) aw yea.

2009-06-13T03:36:00.001-07:00

:)

i just bought a pack of skittles sensation and am already regretting it. the red one (i thought it was strawberry) is the worse (it turned out to be..... chilli berry!!! wth. ew ew ew) followed by the blue one (cool raspberry which tastes like bubble gum which is ok except for the listerine aftertaste) and the rest are ok. i think they should stick to real fruits. and traditional flavours. sorry im conservative. but you see there is no such thing as a chilliberry. and fruit combos are bad too. like the chilliberry. actually it sounds funny hahaha chilliberry has a strange jingle to it but too bad the taste sucks

but actually i like sour skittles. especially the purple and red ones. actually the purple red and green ones only. so maybe i shouldnt say i like skittles.

ok i dont like skittles.

anywayyyyyyyyy. i just had a paper today! ok as if you care. i shall remove the exclamation mark then.

i had a paper today.

yes more neutral. and omg i just had a yellow one it's lemon tingle and it's also bad.

anyway it was my first paper. and secondlast (woo slacky)

and then itd be the end of my second semester out of eight. one quarter done. that is pretty damn fast in my humble opinion. and scary because i dont seem to feel that anything has happened (but i have aged. the woe) omgness. there must be more to this than uhh picking skittle colours.

this is a sign that i should volunteer in some old folks home. but if i dont then there may be a volunteer shortage then old folks homes will close down then old folks will have to stay with their children. demandsupply ! happy ending

so i should carry on normally. until something happens.

welllllllllll

zzzzzz ok goodbye happy waiting damn you godot

2009-05-12T23:55:00.000-07:00

:)

it is wednesday

i think everyday i must forget to bring one item to school. yea it's still school. without attendance marking. and uniforms. and cheap food. sigh (but actually it's not as bad as i make it out to be) well three and a half more years. to what relief? work. wow (but k that will hopefully be only one aspect of an allrounded life experience of hopefully around seventy plus years, depending on circumstances of course - if like global warming makes it too hot and kills all the salmon for sashimi maybe sixty something is enough. but im not that great a fan actually what am i saying)

k actually i have nothing to say in this context hahaha byebye

2009-05-07T02:57:00.000-07:00

:)

the end of the ninth week.

wow time passes really fast. or maybe it's just that university terms are short. i dont know. actually there's a lot of work. but a lot less lesson time (which is more than fine by me). so.. lets see how it goes

and i finished the fight !

117. hahaha please may they need to rouse him again. i cant believe gravemind is gone. and why is johnson still alive after all that. what happened to the forerunners! and i havent had enough of fuel rod gun mauler and spiker. and how can he leave cortana to talk to herself like that lol. and what happened to the rest of the covenant surely there must be others around. and why did guiltyspark do that wth. i used to think it was cute. actually it reminds me of portal

but somehow i think i enjoyed halo2 more. maybe its more linear or something. hmm or maybe the graphics here are too good for me haha i get distracted by the environment. gravemind looks sick. i think i only rly got into the mood in the last five levels. exciting. before that it was a bit (just a tiny bit) boring - a lot of overkill - the number of flyinginsect things, the flood. omg one floodnest walking monster thing now releases so much tiny flood. arghaghrhghghg. but the weapons are really nice. i still love bruteshot woo. but the brute bike sucks

k now im left with l4d. but i dont mean to make it sound inadequate. best fps there ever was :D

1. halo2
2. l4d
3. halo3
4. cs
5. cod
6. gunz (what a sad name though)

did i miss anything. k halflife. but cos i dont like hahahah. but maybe the list is like that cos i have yet to play bioshock
T_________T

havent played hellgatelondon either but one map only right zzzz

k omg time to (try to) do some work byebye

2009-04-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

:)

hmmhmmhmmmmm~

am in some sort of unknown reason kind of good mood despite other things :D

i hope its not some precursor to heck caring about work lol. first day of school today anyway. alright another half semester to go. to...three weeks of winter break. i seriously dont know what im looking forward to, but im looking forward to it nonetheless! things get clearer as they move along :)

id like to think.

and its better to not think about anything at all. but i wonder what ppl turn their mind to most of the time anyway. seriously have they so many problems of such great importance! most of the time im just walking at 1 km/h and singlemindedly listening to some song id probably have looped ten mil times. lol maybe its just my brain that cannot handle listening and deliberating simultaneously.

chilly

and so it is. well gdnight to you !

2009-04-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

:)

only four days (including today) remain

k better than nothing i guess

it's getting cold (for the nth time). oh no this heralds the start of another unaesthetic winter (affirmed by the hall heating system being turned on) well here we go again. and the greyness is depressing. now everything seems to be fading away or into the background. like motivation to do work lol. not much of that to begin with

and i have no brain in the afternoon it's just not there. i can't do anything at all. hardly. zzzzz. except frivolous things (like type here lol)

................

so dreary

2009-04-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

:)

one more week of holiday

sigh must (start) do(ing) work. and it is getting so cold i dont feel like doing anything except hide under the quilt. am starting to consume extravagant amounts of milo slash coffee (i miss slash. ok ahem jk)

the bluemountains were good. and the mood (im-on-holiday-i-cannot-do-work-yay kind of mood). but now its back to earth i mean canberra. sighsigh.

mmm i feel sort of nonchalant dadadalaalallalaalallllllllllllllllllll zz byebye

2009-04-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

:)

dont know.

im glad you dont.

such classified status.

and sorry.
but what do you expect oh tell me what do you expect. to lay it on my head. bang bang. youre dead. oh so easily led.

some things

sigh ramblelament goodnight

2009-04-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

:)

there is no school for a little while

but it doesnt always totally mean what you would like it to mean. then there is trouble. dont prick your finger and die forever. though sleeping is normally nice. and its raining now what a cold nice sleepy quilt snuggling night. and i never appreciated hot drinks till canberra. it is time to buy some milo

its like falling and having deposited the top layer of your skin on the road surface. and normally its not like a one cm square area but a messy patch of owww. too rough. dont run on roads. hide forever and one day you wont regret

come now it is too quiet lets listen to old stuff

shot me down. as i flew by. crashing bird. i think sometimes you forget. answer no to these questions. let it go. learn a lesson. its not me. youre not listening now cant you see. somethings missing. hows your life. whats it like there. is it all what you want it to be.

nah.

the only version of my desertion that i could ever subscribe to.

actually i listen to stuff over and over again
haha takes a lot to make me sick of it

yawn hands off. i mean down.

breathe in for luck.

2009-04-05T21:39:00.001-07:00

:)

hello how goes your life

its getting colder oh no impending doom

an acorn is now in my foster care. please do not decompose. maybe in ten years time i'll rediscover it and think..well what would i think. ten years is a pretty long time if from now till nov is considered long. but then again maybe itd be quick. and maybe i wont even be typing here anymore. its bad to make predictions. k more like pointless. i guess.

but dont know why im in such a gd mood today. maybe cos i played so much l4d this wkend omgg. oh yes i hope that in ten yrs time therell be this awesome version of l4d. omg. hmmm. or maybe cos its three more school days to two weeks of midterm break. k there's like lots of stuff due after that but at least it's two weeks of schoollessness and happy days of frolicking in the sun :D

(or so i like to think T_T maybe more of cold)

so much of wilful blindness.

but nonetheless have a great week as you always should

well you never know whats up.

:)

2009-03-30T00:59:00.000-07:00

:)

well.

it is getting a little colder.

maybe grass will die. probably. yay. no blankets for evil beings. grass is sinister. keep a safe distance.

it reminds me of a song

Anthony walked to his death because he thought hed never feel this way again
If he goes back to the house then things would go from bad to worse, what could he do?
He wants to remember things exactly as he left them on that funny day
And if there is something else beyond, he isnt scared because
Its bound to be less boring than today

the title sticks in my head lol. so how are you feeling today?

left the ground in black and white
and when the plane went down the colours all around.

it is hard to define anything for certain especially those like invisible lines. cross and the alarm goes off. but what use is an alarm on its own. guarded. it is difficult to know who the thief might be. it always is like that. so much to figure. or if you look at it another way, nothing at all. theres always to option of nonchalance

thats it i reckon. well howd i know what goes where.

k dont know what im going on about anyway hahah have a gd week (:

it is nearly april ! fast. zoomzoom

2009-03-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

:)

three more weeks to midterm break!

i think i quite need it. am sort of behind time in work (surprise)

but miss wang is already on some partyboat somewhere! k i feel like some stalker reporting on you in some hidden online enclave heh have fun :D k actually u wont see this in time lol. u know ive never gone on a cruise before! deprivedddd

and a can injured my friend yesterday ): much pain. what a bad can. beware of campbell its yummy but sharp sigh

and happy birthday jiamin!

and may i soon discover what fooood is causing this strange tiny rash on my limbs wth T_T lucky its still sparse. but i was never allergic to anything and i dont recall consuming any exotic new kind of substance T_T

ok nothing to say already i show u fireworks

booom. but dies in five seconds.

2009-03-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

:)

it is week four.

it is fast.

were discussing going back june-july

T_T but not me.

i want to see tian etc and all the rare people. and of course sg people. and lan hahaha. whats with the topsy turvy aus seasons. and therefore holiday lengths. sigh

k i guess theres always msn

i guess.

actually i like traveling. ok more like being transported. like sitting in a car or train or bus or plane (but i dont really like plane. especially if not window seat hahaha) for hours x many. k i conclude train's the best followed by bus then car. k what a useless conclusion lol. anyway (: it's like an excuse to relax (not that relaxing should require excuses. thatd be a sad day) and look at parts of the ground you'd never set foot on. and maybe be glad you're inside, especially if its raining. then you could feel privileged. and safe. and be glad that you're not like an ant or sth suffering in the rain (but it might be good to be a plant). and be quiet if you normally arent. and think about everything that could have been and wasnt or the first thing to do upon arrival or what kind of plant youd like to be i dont know. anything goes.

as for everything.

~

2009-03-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

:)

weekends

are great! just like fifteen more. that's scarily fast. but what comes after that is like. another thirty. another hundred. k i hope i live for a significant period of time. for enough happy weekends to make going through school worthwhile. initial investment. the downpayment. for better times to come.

well what a mood.

what an expression. what a statement to make. what rough edges.

tired

2009-03-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

:)

another week down! it's really fast i cannot believe it sleep wake up sleep wake up pooof

happy birthday tian~

and soon

happy birthday chun~

may everybody get all the presents you want. and whatever else you want.

wish i knew
and.

ohno i am an addict. whenever ive got like an hour of free time id be thinking if i can finish a campaign. then i'd go check if there's anybody online. then when anyone asks "hey u free to play" i'll definitely say yes omg unless it's like already 4am. k awareness is good. recreation is good too. T_T two goods make one...good? gd game

and.

mysteriously i feel sort of free. when everybody is like busy. ok peer pressure i shall attempt to be busy too. but im twenty (k not yet still a while to go but still. its sort of not as young as i'd like to be. ten times two is quite a lot. can buy two bowls of salmon sashimi chilli don. i miss it cos i have a photo of it wow. and its like the brink of working life. that is sad. going to topple over and tumble into some office in like a few years. not a really appealing prospect. but what other option is there T_T ok maybe i should start buying lottery tickets)

anything goes. zero resentment id like to think. like oil on water. they dont mix. they dont interfere with each other either. please just remain floating there. too smooth.

or drown drown

time can take its toll on the best of us
look at you you're growing old so young
traffic lights may catch you in the evening
tilt you head and turn it to the sun

you wake up in the morning and its still there
adding up the things you'll never be

2009-03-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

:)

yumyum had pancakes

-insert picture of pancake here that i did not make see im so honest-

anyway.

i now (finally) have garena. thats bad for many things but good for recreation that maybe is the most important of all things wow new mantra

lalala begin the 4am days. omg

XD

----------
well. i never guessed T_T hmm. i bet u would never too. why like that. i have so much to say but i cant. sry chun hahaha me ramble ramble x 999. delayed tornado what a metaphor. nah no such paramount force. like uk legislation. nothing at all it's more like some breeeeeeze. though i usually like them. just a hint of the wind. and then it dies. then no matter how long you stand there the air will be still so u've just got to find another place to stand. is that it. ive got this song its called hurricane (weather patterns) by soco and it's really nice. but i like obstacle 2, such great heights, and hurricane. so i cant decide which one to put here. but nvm since obs2 is here inertia demands me to leave it here. k what am i saying now. anw deadair is so fun. i think its the best level! and yea m16 is my fav gun. sigh

they will see us waving from such great
heights, ''come down now,'' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
come down now, but we'll stay

i tried my best to leave this all on your machine
but the persistent beat it sounded thin upon listening
that frankly will not fly. you will hear
the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home

and i really like this song. -the postal service

2009-03-04T03:33:00.000-08:00

:)

the physical manifestation of free time

pretty impressive, the things you can do with time. and money. sadly not my work. :D anyway it does look pretty good. how can it not topple over. i hope they havent softened. i like the black cookie part. k of course its good as a whole too. and i like the peanut butter chocolate oreo. yum. long ago we had a forfeit where lovely ppl replaced the cream with toothpaste and we didnt know till we bit it. too good to be true when your punishment is just cookie consumption. but oreos are so good that wasnt enough to put us off it forever. and what a word it is. how can seven letters encompass everything for an unlimited period of time. its so unfair. anyway i wish i had a lifetime's supply of oreos. i wish that i could survive such a life for a normal adequate lifetime. without ramifications of uh health problems. sigh can wish for so much but nothings falling from the sky

ok lament ramble lament byebye

2009-03-03T04:22:00.000-08:00

:)

dont trust yourself for at least one minute each day.

yay once again i have nothing to type. my mind is filled with nice lyrics and textbook material (or so i hope).

spend it all today

well. it's all not bad. so far. mondays a public holiday or something. and i have fridays off. so im up for a really long weekend. well what should i do

in my minddd this is my my my free time

does that mean i shdnt do anything. anyway see it's very quiet in the room so i have to play stuff not that i will go mad but maybe close k course not. but i like it its my uh hidden enclave and soft toy orphanage (rescued from shelves of say, takashimaya. i miss takopachi balls. even though its mostly flour. but many nice things are made of flour. ok thank you flour god.)

takes a long time just to get this all straight

i had a muffin today. the muffins here are like XL muffins. but nice la

she was alright but the sea was so airtight

(love-joy diver)

this line's my favourite somehow.

2009-02-27T21:41:00.001-08:00

:)

weekend.

i just cant believe it was all a lie
there aint no moon just a big light in the sky

k i have nth to say lol -.-

yawn

2009-02-25T04:01:00.000-08:00

:)

first week of school.

almost over! i am lucky i get fridays off

eh what happened to ripway T_T

thirteen weeks left. plus two weeks of midterm break in between. plus another say three weeks of exam period. this is why i hate math. but never mind better than having no idea at all. and its not too bad now that i look at it. about sixteen weekends! thats quite fast. a little scary too. now a calendar adorns my cupboard with large blatant black Xs striking out every twentyfour hours. actually its demoralizing to count down. worse of all im counting down to nothing much. to the next sem. wow so exciting. k this is some awesome attitude. i have a lot more demoralising things to say but shd spare everyone

but i like my room. i also put up a huge poster. like a really really big one! guess of what. hahaha.

and now the song playing is great escape aha if i had no care and lots of money thatd really be great. but then again where to run to. and there's no real monster here anyway. ok i shd enjoy my monsterfree life here and stop emoing

T_T

2009-02-21T03:37:00.000-08:00

:)

school in a day. may it be good and fun and all the things you wish for

hello i am devastated hamachi has failed me whywhywhy never mind i play alone T_T i fight infected alone i am brave

ok actually that (catastrophe) was what motivated me to post

We can cap the old times, make playing only logical harm
We can cap the old lines, make playing that nothing else will change
stories are boring and stuff
always calling my bluff

i like it

2009-02-19T02:23:00.000-08:00

:)

ok im here. eleven hours away and three hours ahead. greetings.

actually i think it hasnt really set in cos im in the denial this is temporary like a holiday im in a hotel i will be back soon kind of mood. anyway school is going to start this coming monday. thats good actually. the sooner it starts the sooner it ends. though i cannot imagine working life. more accurately i cannot imagine living it.

and i am so brilliant. i didnt pack my bedsheet quilt cover pillow case and pencil case. so i slept here on the first day without uh any of that. (.....) welll. k ive gotten the first three just left the pencil box to forage from some bush. k i think i have an old one here actually. yay my jc one.

and i miss l4d. shd continue playing otherwise my awesome skills may diminish (ok just jk noob is me). but im scared of the witch la loool. sometimes quite funny. but still scary. k i wimp. anyway when the horde comes my game crashes on my comp T_T

and of course i miss a whole load of other things.

so school should start soon so that i will be busy and distracted and think about nothing. actually its sort of busy now too somehow. ok may everything be put on hold till november and resume when i get back. but maybe it doesnt work that way with people. oh no

i want to talk to you you you and you. actually this is of no significance i anyhow put the number of you's. you know its the i want to keep in touch thing. but i do want to talk to you. but u are so lag or not there. no i dont know what talking me. wheee so incoherent wheee

aye going to watch saw. i hate saw. or ghost movies. then i cannot sleep and will be paranoid bla. gahh. cannot unsee what i just saw'd (i shall put it up one day, the awesome cat face from i can has cheezeburger i reckon. wow i used a comma,,probably wrongly too.)

ok byebye T_T

2009-02-15T08:40:00.000-08:00

T_________T

poooof.

2009-02-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

):

T_T !!! sdjhfasjkfs !!!!!!

days left can be counted on one hand omg this is a tragedy haha T_T of minuscule scale perhaps in comparison with all the other things (that i presume) are happening (one shd never overestimate the frequency of my newspaper reading)

X( !!!

sigh. much miss. u might never guess. am not in my right mind. zz byebye farewell au revoir.

2009-02-08T23:44:00.001-08:00

:)

it is so hot. i heard its worse there. nooo. and omg seven. why so fast. lucky seven. i should be invincible for a few turns. sigh sleep and wake up seven times. eh why lamentlamentlament. maybe shd take more naps. imaginary days plus plus

nothing ever falls apart
i know nothing ever falls apart
remind me once more where this is going
before i fling it out into the ocean

i still like the song. esp this part. and now juicebox. yay. what a name. is a strawberry a juicebox? nvm dont know what talking them.

eee what happened to ripway.
it got lost the balloon blimp flew away ): now my page is empty. and quiet.

2009-02-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

:)

since i am so bored (which in no way implies that i want to go off whinecomplainlamentx9999 i am happy to subsist in boredom it is like a friend. sort of. more accurately, nothing-to-do-ness. which is freedom without the negative connotation of sian. nvm what am i saying thats a good question actually.) let me introduce my new pet

it has no name cos.. actually. it's even cuter than that

..
.....
.........
..............
..................
suspense
.............
........
.....
..

yay!

ok it is much smaller than the real thing (in no way implying that it is not real!) but so what. it was on offer and cost two dollars and fortyfive cents. that is a sad existence in a way. but then again that was half my pay per hour. but anyway even if it were just lying on the floor i would pick it up and bring it back because it is like so funny. (fact: germs do not exist on cute soft toys) ok but id wipe it first. but anyway it was not from the floor

ok it is late goodnight byebye

2009-02-05T02:00:00.000-08:00

):

eleven more days! omg! this is why i hate math. it makes everything limiting. its even worse when you multiply (a task now beyond me. but not my handphone calculator!) and come up with the ticktock seconds left gg and evey word i type eats some of it away omg what is best use of time. eating pineapple tarts. prata. walking around with a hopefully thoughtful intelligent look on my face. worshipping steven hall. (wow my life). but you see the effects of everything ok most things only show up like in ten years. and sometimes you mightnt even have the pleasure of suffering it before something else happens. and risk management is like not my thing. the pineapple tart conundrum. but hey they arent like thattt sweet right. nvm zzz

sulksulksulk. ok i hereby am reformed and will stop anticipating no i mean dreading days that are only eleven days away (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) omg i am retarded no i am not ok byebye

T______T x11

2009-02-03T05:02:00.001-08:00

:)

'sup.

uh nothing

and the crying really freaks me out. its the dread. and she's so grey. eee

i was always careless as a child
theres a part of me that still believes
my soul will soar above the trees
ive got no time ive got to go
more right than i'll ever know

and die at the same time.

2009-01-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

:)

what is this.

graghrgqwerty

it feels as though i have nothing ahead. like ive been here forever and will be here next week. next next week. i cant believe there's like several years to go. i live there too. but not really.

but not next next next week. i wish the wait longer.

whats so tied to the ground. whats not to like. whats to wait for. need instruction manual i mean intuition i mean sense. but sometimes you feel like discarding all that. sometimes its not a matter of choice. is it

omg

why. lol i dont know

2009-01-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

:)

it is wrong! dreaddreaddoom.

anyway http://www.gamesradar.com/pc/f/pokemon-invade-spore/a-20080701114947592098/g-2006022417441549006

2009-01-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

:)

happy cny

where has all my time gone.

into the hurricane. omg. i think its the only thing that makes me loop stuff like a lollercoaster. actually ive never taken a giant loopaloop one before. deprived i am. though id probably say nox999999999999 nooooooo before it. then tian will drag me on and i will just die. then we'll queue again and take it another 99999999 times. hahah

soon i'll be leaving
but you wont believe-in me.

! say something. wont u. something.

corp

2009-01-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

:)

lalala

i knew all along
that i was right at the start
bout the seeds of the weeds

oh what did you expect.
oh tell me

2009-01-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

:)

hmmhmmmhmmmm

so what's going to happen now. stirring.

actually i dont feel a thing i must be detached. globalisation has yet to reach my uh realm. maybe i need to buy some shares. well iron chef is on again !

and he wins !
yes way to go

----------
shucks a summary of my life
omg ok nvm -.-

2009-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

:)

all these brown boxes havent helped me move one bit
in half-empty rooms they sit
stay thats where they will stay

spintoband is the best.

like one plus mths just vanished. what have i been doing. omg must have been in stasis. i dont want to go ahhhhh. ok still have some time. ahhhhhhhhh

one day i finally sat down and yay. the ending is so cute. ppps. final thoughts. still alive!

i like the pink panther. steve martin is my new idolololol

ok yay time to ingest 99999999999999 pineapple tarts

i could never say

2009-01-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

:)

its nice. so many people milling around! and once in a while you spot someone familiar haha. is that scary or what (what). but i wouldnt be able to sit through 99999999 hours of lesson like that. som you are good. and i like the technoage canteen. and ldlc's big room. yay :D

its good. its the kind that you must finish at one go. she makes you waste it all at once. like i wish i ate candy floss slower. but it might be sick if you go so slow that you stop halfway and then ud feel like throwing the entire thing away. nows the time to sit on the sofa in the afternoon and eat atwoods candyfloss

hmm

2009-01-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

:)

??
???
?????
???
??

i suppose i must be rather unoccupied. kingshaw is a sad case. sometimes i cannot draw any conclusions. that also includes those which i reckon correct but may turn out wrong so its safer to leave it where it is. question mark. then i didnt know turf city had this slope. discrimination against non-drivers T_T then i read sth called metropole which was really horrible in the pointless sense. i am suddenly glad that singapore is small. well what would u have

well perhaps. a lot.

2009-01-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

:)

hello

i cannot get rid of the psuedo invisible borders that are marring the display and blocking out letters dsjhfakds my (inexistent) html manipulating skills fail me

actually i have nth to say. cept that i like this song :) that is now hopefully playing in the background

And now I know I’m at the end of my wits
Don't gotta tell me where this is going
Cus I know nothing ever falls apart
Yeah I know nothing ever falls apart

Remind me once more where this is going
Before I fling it out into the ocean
It’s kind of level but it's wavy
It's looking more blue than it is green

It’s looking quiet as I jump in
So I can finally hear you scream
You got a gnome in the backyard
You put him right on the X mark

2009-01-03T23:24:00.000-08:00

:)

happy 2009 ! (for the 328432th time)

omg so fast its 2009 i i cannot believe its 2009 it is 2009 like two ohoh nine oh my gosh we will be twenty this year oh no one step closer to arrr twenty one movies ok of course not but sigh so fast i feel like i just hopped out of jay sea onto some island then i dont know where to go from there i wish i were a coconut tree then everyday would be spent looking at people arrive long ago i read this book called the phantom tollbooth and i rmb i was slightly freaked out but now i cant rmb what its about ok what a para of nolink linklessness lackoflink or lack thereof in the kingdom of zelda omg i mean legend and yay i made (purchased) a new pair of specs today cos one end of my current one broke off (transcience of rubber)

and i just had to keep up (hide) everything cos my cousins (havoc) are coming haha (actually not funny) ok i feel so evil (warranted) but they open and touch (destroy) everything (like really everything) and now my bro's not at home (such good timing) oh no (omg) it's three v one T_T overkill (ahhhh)

k its time to run away (whee)

2008-12-31T09:30:00.000-08:00

:)

so it's 2009:
should avoid fullstops they reek of endings,,,,,,,,,,,,
!!!i hope this is exciting%% in the nonprotest nonpoisoningincidents nonrescession kind of way wellllll

nvm

so T_T happy new yr ya

1. omg phone cancel cannot service centre uncontactable how die pay $ one mth free frag gg
2. sajghjghfjkghafjkghrekgje noooooooooooooooooo
3. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. nooooooooooo why why why
4. omg how come like that
5. no want go back
6. .................

it feels the same.

2008-12-28T06:10:00.000-08:00

:)

ok im not going to sit on a bike for a long time (i think.) haha but yayyyy. i wish i lived nearer. but i wish for lots of things. cannot tell u. later dont come true. and living nearer is not really number one. actually currently i want sixty eight bucks. looop.

omg its nearly the end of this year. isnt that scary. great i mean. somehow i keep thinking "how" but i dont even know what the problem is. how elusive

maybe i do. but sometimes better to just mem wipe. so what was it about this year. should just quote ST. things seem really far off. everything. cant really feel it. in the honest sense. ahh i must be stuck somewhere. ok so heres an excuse to restart. as of every year. although u dont actually do. but nvm

anyway, happy 2009.

:)

------
i was clearing my stuff and came across like lots of old stuff. destined for drawers. (not bins im v good i keep lots of things ok). not say very old but old enough to be on nontalking terms. ahhh. hey. hi. sorry. very much. but u'll nvr talk to me again. regardless. except like.. once a .... maybe? but thats not counted. haha. omg is this very specific ok it will be in invisible ink. and sry. always wanted to say. yea

2008-12-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

:)

omg dec is ending why. longer please. nice to see lots of ppl again :D yea.. jan 2? hmm. actually quite tired sometimes its nice to just sit at home too. but it smells of paint. haha ive nvr skated in rain before (ok hopefully thats the last time). but it was kinda fun XD uhuh. oh and ive nvr eaten so many orange pear mango slices before ughasjfhgfjkj wth actually ive nvr been stung by a bee touchwoodchoyahh or hmm smoked before yea maybe some things i dont mind nvr doing. but so far ive not had durian!!! omg so deprived whywhy. where did all the durians go. must be global warming T_T blameblame

patapatapatapon.. feverrrrrr !

???????

2008-12-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

:)

hello i like to skate

2008-12-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

:)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

hellololololofgafdshg

omg i am enjoying it all very much now i wish i could just hang around like that forever. am dreading next year. i should have been born a sofa or a stone or a cupboard or sth. a tree. in someplace safe like..bukit timah nature reserve where nobody can make paper or furniture from me. then i will enjoy the sun the entire day but not get burnt. and the good scenery. and spy on ppl taking walks. and not sweat while they all sweat. but a bit pointless. not that i have much of any point now. but also a bit scary at night

need more loveless. im stuck halfway through volume 9 cant find the rest (nooooooo)

i cant get rid of those interfering lines on the template -.-

i like the flowers i like the daffodils i like the mountains i like the green hills i like the firestones i like to walk alone

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

.

2008-12-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

:)

tired

not really keeping track of days (or anything at all anyway) sleep wake up sleep wake up omg its 17dec already. so fast. id like to have it on pause here forever i think nineteen is a very decent age wheres the remote T_T i cannot imagine 2010. yes i have poor imagination. or 2012. or 2999999999. i give up. maybe its more like i dont want to think about it

i dont want to go back. why the hell am i worrying now haha but i just thought of it. maybe if i worry now i'll become immune to it later yay. maybe im just antichange lol. haha scared of lacking stamina. and perhaps luck. and everything else. hmmm???omg my brain is sleeping

ppl like soubi are too sweet and good to be true T_T yea this is why i am still awake now omg sleepless im fifty pages away T_T but id like to keep that for tmr so i have sth to look forward to so i will wake up ha so emo aye wth am i doing

in like primary school night (midnight onwards) was like some sort of magictime untouched and pristine until like sec sch and jc then we start eating into it lol what sacrilege and now morning is like just an extension of the day before why how sad ok wrong wrong beep beep lifestyle change in progress

i feel like walking around outside now but of course i will not

ok no sense making me goodnight

zzzz

2008-12-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

:)

haha :D laxing. finally feel like im on holiday (lag) actually maybe its the effect of this song
(iloveitiloveit somehow.)

It's hard to remember days
Mornings lost in a chronic haze
Breath is fast and the trains are slow
I barely feel it though
All day long I fantasize
In the dark, behind other people's eyes
And when they disappear
Words get lost in the atmosphere

extra good plusplus mood shall change skin and put song hahah
i think im addicted to wasting time anyway nows the season to waste time
i like legoshop i shall buy a stormtrooper someday ok with my first salary (great four years)
its so scary to think about years. quite a few have passed and i dont feel a lot wiser
maybe its to do with potential T_T
woofwoof

-----------------------------------------
tiannn if u see this in time have (good clean) fun in cali ;D

:D:D:D:D
------------------------------------------

and happpppybirthdayyy som
:)

2008-12-11T09:36:00.001-08:00

:)

titan ae is actually quite nice (ya i finally watched it so lag) although it seems a bit of a combi of star wars and 2001 (ee especially the drumming) which is the best

ok nth to say byebye

2008-12-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

:)

actually nothing much (if not nothing at all) happened and there were so many mosquitoes that i hid under the blanket every night (like entirely) and played pokemon wth on handphone until four am to fall asleep omg so exciting. but that was relatively good since my bro did not hide under the blanket and got like twenty new bites a day lol pwned. ok and my cousin got married. yea. then there were like helium balloon arches. then there were scary monster children who plucked the balloons off and dismantled the thing (and their parents helped.) midway wow. amazing bunch. maybe when they grow up they will rob puppies

and.. happy birthday som :D:D:D:D !!

ok since i have nth else to say i shall resort to a pictorial illustration of the Exciting Nine Days zz
_______________________

:D:D hello dare me and gingy go on trip to de land of de hornbill they sell bread too
and a strange fern cooked with belachan (that is surprisingly rather tasty)and statue with itchy hand who also plants coconutdidnt go to kelantan but there was a tempting house
oh i saw a cute dog (look it sits splayed out haha)

ok i give up on ajsf captions byebye goodnight zzzz T_T

2008-12-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

:)

oh no

i no want to go
no internet for six days
many mosquitoes

fivesevenfive i can be the next basho, no? (no)

oh yes
i have been spamming dvds and discovered that day watch is awesome i hereby declare (i know you dont care but i care ok!) it my fav movie along with kpax lol pratchett has nightwatch but russians have their own lol.
(movie watch you!)

the first five min of the show was like ?!?!? (when i bought it i didnt know there was a prequel -.-) and full of ridiculous ?!?! sorry my vocab fails me. but seriously the introduction was total rubbish but dont judge just yet as it went along it got nicer and nicer haha i am impressed maybe its cos i watched it thinking it would be some trashy flick (low expectations help?) but anyway i think it is beyond awesome :D regardless of the premise (hahaha 'vamps' but they are strictly not like those in Underworld or Twilight or ?!?!) the awesome director actually managed to pull something pretty implausible off rather convincingly omg i love Parrot too bad he died in five seconds but anyway it was veryvvvvvvvvvvv nice :D so awesomely sick

aiya rubbish is typing me! it is important to put up some unflattering photos (they were all i could find T_T)

lol damn good

then i watched ultraviolet (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh seriously i never watched anything worse hmm ok maybe World Trade Centre) omg ok the style is pretty nice butbutbutbutbut. it was so painful to watch and (...) and pretty pointless (aeonflux is ten mil times nicer woo without all this novel retro artsy effort) omg ok im just glad i didnt watch it in the cinema. now i also know that i cant be a movie reviewer and anw it is not such a great job after all if you have to watch stuff like ultraviolet

"in sov R there is freedom of speech.. in ?!?!? there is also freedom after speech
..in ?!?!? you can always find a party... in sov R... Party finds you!"

T_T byebye back in six

2008-11-30T07:55:00.001-08:00

:)

boo

nice to see people again but.. i dont want to go msia T_T for one week T_T omg T_Tx9999 ?!?!?!!! i want to go ecp and have someone buy 360 and blablablasecret (wow) actually one week is nothing but maybe one day when im (touchwoodx999999) like looking at some tsunami rising or rising water levels thanks to (ex)glaciers i would think back and remember all the weeks i wasted doing this sort of thing (like exams too) i think if you put it all together it is a lot of time but im not good at putting things together but anyway i still know it is a lot of time (ya what would i do with more time anyway but im sure i'll know when faced with such a ridiculous situation) i finally thought of a riposte for those people who think sleeping late is bad i bet right at the end when they are looking at the tsunami with me theyd tell me that they wished theyd spent more late nights doing things that somehow only appear on the list of things-to-do when there is no time left (sorry what a load of rubbish and so many brackets but they are nice)()()()( ((((()))

() ()
(* *)
(__)o
hey look at my rabbit lol

ok wth

2008-11-29T06:41:00.000-08:00

:)

haha being back home is really comfy

hmm funny its as though the semester just vanished somewhere and nothing ever happened lol nice thing about studying somewhere else the place will always be far removed then again its scary now i finally realise that its so comfortable and recognizable because nothings new its all roughly the same well of course there are differences but the underlying theme remains it eerily seems like Sky Crawlers lol omg that was like really depressing ok maybe i should start volunteering somewhere or planting trees or giving math (hahaha) tuition to little children

but whos to say whats the best thing to do with time (and im not complaining about its excess. in fact its quite the contrary so theres this pressure to come up with the best thing to do with the limited time then isnt it really sad when that doesnt come naturally omg how whats missing and when theres no answer to that then maybe idling is acceptable heh) and i just watched m3 ok its funny but it seems aimless too to just be running around savannahs though i really like the penguin guy well the one with his mannequin doll thing hahaha

but i think they got something wrong in the crawlers like how they made monotony so bad. probably it isnt entirely about that its about war and how dispensable they are and whatever else well i didnt read the book but war is like something that happens in the distance for me (which is good really) and dying is something i mostly dont really contemplate about. so what if its the same. why cant you really like doing the same thing always. ok maybe thats a bit hard thanks to boredom (but if you really enjoy it you cant overdose right? at the most there's some adverse effect like diabetes. damn) and there's always the power of rioting and largescale lawbreaking that is forgiveable when too many people are involved as some places are now demonstrating at first i thought it was ridiculous then again most things are -.-

..............................................

and actually im actually annoyed by maggi mee -.- ok nvm byebye

2008-11-26T06:17:00.003-08:00

:)

!

????!!

jsdhafadjkghfkg

how coherent

2008-11-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

:)

YAY

(?)

2008-11-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

:)

hi i am bored i hate packing but no more of it for three months yay omg two days wake up twice more then i will be home yay magic

sajkfnkjvnfdghaugfid

2008-11-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

:)

im so tired it's amazing im more tired after exams rather than before/during

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

want very much to sleep like really really very much but i have so much to pack wth

sometimes i feel like dumping everything and running around. but such actions only attract regret. great

nvm i have the songs from Once which are really quite nice haha now i wanna watch already even if i know the ending. so depressing. and actually theyre the kind of songs that u hear and want to cry or hide in some corner or sth

noisy stuff is nice but sometimes quiet mild stuff is rly awesome

maybe im seeing it now. eventually it happens i guess. everythings private or doesnt matter if it isnt related to... yea. but its like that right im not fighting it actually i dont want to go against this sort of thing. its futile. it isnt so straightforward already there are too many factors. and the combination of variables plus the environment makes it even harder to accurately discern. i give up im not smart enough especially for this kind of game haha guesswork is so tedious i dont know how to help anything anyone myself anymore

and maybe nothings worth it. because there's like a base assumption of ulterior motive. but sometimes what if there really isnt one. then one will be created haha tailor made to blame you. for effort. well. but so be it up to anyone to judge thats out of my control.

and sometimes its nice for things to be out of your control. even if you have to sit and wait for certain doom. at least you can relax. nothing to be done but wait for godot

what would one do with all the time anyway? ha. its hard to find some point at nineteen or even ninety. all about definitions. should leave it to ppl like nietzsche and rushdie (same level in my humble and very probably wrong but nonetheless an opinion sort of opinion) maybe i dont really want to know

see if you play a game for very long and suddenly the referee tells you to go home because there is no objective it would be rather distressing and even more so if the referee's yourself and that moment of epiphany strikes after.. significant spans of time. sigh white flag

zzzzzzz omg

2008-11-17T01:51:00.001-08:00

:)

am tired!

five more days haha i should start packing :)

yesterday we watched resident evil in the dark at night but it wasnt really scary still (except for cheap scares like things suddenly turning around. thats cheating) cos i could sleep and i feel like watching the third one. it makes me glad that im living in 2008 without funny viruses and that im not doing bio so if the world ever screws up itd never be my fault ok i do not have such scientific means so blame people like crake

maybe you wont feel so bad about things when theyre not your fault haha as in resulting from your active pursuance of some goal whether justified or otherwise. but if you indirectly caused it then maybe you should feel guilty. but what if the person did not act reasonably or carefully in response to whatever situation you prompted/were involved in. then its not your fault again because it was due to the person's lousy judgment? but youd feel bad anyway. should others hate you? not really yea but i think they are completely entitled to. so i dont understand why they didnt just kill the little girl lol ok nvm

then we climbed this mountain. its a very normal one the kind you can just walk up and not be at risk of low oxygen levels or tigers and mammoths etc yea but we got lost. actually technically not lost but we took the wrong trail and walked for two and a half hours looool. i hate forests now. i can understand why people in ancient times didnt like them much either. if i were really lost in one without a path i think i might go mad if i keep seeing the same thing over and Over again. especially white trees. ok but i say only i bet in a few days id like forests again and want to live in some loghouse guarded by alsatians and full of gingerbread men and nescafe or something like that

then i got sunburnt. and i only realised how bad it was after getting out of that mountain. this is dumb. i have never everrr gotten sunburnt before so i underestimated australian sun (but its still the same sun. ok maybe i should say i overestimated the aus ozone layer) and i have suffered for my mistake. ok actually: am going to suffer. noooooooooo. sigh does praying to it help. sighhh. i shall buy sunblock when i get back. i didnt even go to a beach i was like only walking around T_T this is unjust

ok byebye :)

-----
but what am i really looking forward to. haha i dont know omg what am i expecting. rubbish. nothing changes actually! regardless of..everything. the only thing i gathered from Our Town that krappy play in sec sch lol wth so depressing(ly true). haha so elusive i am scared of specificity. but going away makes me realise some things i guess. but maybe im just like trying to reassure myself that i have learnt something. stuff. maybe if you trust it enough (are deluded enough) you might actually believe that its true. and whats true anyway its only one persons judgment sometimes (if not all the time) i seriously dont know. actually dont really need to know yay the easiest way out. but going through life not really being in the know is a bit of a waste of time isnt it. dont you hate being secondguessed whether by someone else or yourself or grass or trees and whatever else. but seriously what is good use of time haha. i think eventually we'll all succumb to the good-use-of-time is enjoying life rule. unless you've got some noble aim like saving poisondartfrogs or something. but save frogs and people for what. what would they use their time and freedom for? is it worth your own time. but who's to judge. i think just sleep.

ayee sometimes i hate msn on the spur of the moment i always type some rubbish in my kaypoh-dem and press enter and then regret even saying anything and its pretty embarrassing lol sigh cannot retract. and even if you feel like talking to some people you mightnt even though its technically so easy to just click and say hi but when you havent been saying hi for so long for like since forever then you wonder why you lost the friend and worst of all when you know why and it was so dumb but you just cant bring yourself to say sorry and it was so long ago and im harping on it cos i just saw something familiar accidentally then thought through and realised that i never thought through it or apologized properly or anything i totally suck haha realising only so long after lol so i can only type here and not make this sort of mistakes in future anymore. and you darent really say anything cos you dont know what the person thinks of you now and whether you will spoil the impression further etc etc so many deliberations. too many.

:) yea

2008-11-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

:)

exams are over

(but ive learnt to take things in context exams are over but they will come again next semester but everything works this way including holidays so be it)

SEVEN MORE DAYSbut i actually like this place not really a prison la

i am doing nothing today i think after exams (ggxxnorr) i like to dedicate one day to pure nothingness (ah so zen) and be a complete sloth and sit in front of the computer and sleep when i want (ok but i slept like early this morning) and waste time i think its an art its a real shame if you dont enjoy wasting time seriously and we should ignore the negative connotations that the word "waste" imports because it is a very positive, rehabilitating activity and waste is good waste can be recycled into many things like cardboard which you can like write words on and sit on the street and dont move

anyway in my happy freedom i decided to establish my aspirations for the future (material ones) haha and its quite depressing i need to make lots of money for my black X300jag :D which will never come to being within fifteen years? T_T maybe twenty. ok i dont want to think about it anymore lol

ok time to waste time elsewhere :D

and Switches is greattt lol it was used in the XK jag promo vid T_T

i love to take her to the waterrr
i get so jealous of her daughterr
so ive turned to dope it's beaten me
i bet she's loving it

2008-11-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

:)

ahhhhhhhh

i knew this day would come to end
so let this life begin
its not enough it never is

lololooop

actually i havent properly eaten fruit loops before cos my parents nvr let me buy :( so deprived so throughout my life ive got something for fruit loops. and the funny toxic coloured fruit shaped one too. and honeygraham ohs eh very nice. and blueberry morning and banana nut crunch. ok i think these are the best. oh ya theres one more damn nice one but i cant rmb the name ahhh. the one that looks like a puffed up corn thingy. aiya cant rmb the name T_T

ok im just wasting time lololollipop

no comment on my paper jahfjfasjkgfd dfgf lol before exams i seriously cant absorb anything what lousy attitude T_T and i have bad (ok maybe zero) time management

and the weather is jashfs it is damn hot here! i cant believe it. how come like that. how come i nvr bring tshirts etc. whyyyyyyywhyyywaiiii -.-

lolollercoaster

ok omg byebye

2008-11-11T02:16:00.000-08:00

:)

hello i am v bored

seriously i dont know why im a student i hate studying ok but who doesnt. ok at least its tolerable. i ate a lot of nutella omg how i am nvr buying it again! why is it so nice. actually after eating too much of it i felt a bit sick but i dont learn lessons like that. ok for the record here are some things i will never buy: nutella lemon biscuits milo timtams T_T

imagine last time dont need to even get uni qualifications to get a job. but maybe working life is worse. oh no great impending doom must find something to look forward to. but this kind of thing very hard to find. like when you're infront of the vending machine with exactly two bucks to buy the pack of chillitapioca then you drop ten cents under the machine. asjdfhdagfg

i rmb eating a lot of chilli tapioca at school. lol cheat money one but it's too good. ya what to look forward to. maybe its not about looking forward to something but more of enjoying the process. with a constructive hobby like juggling or something wow. but that is pathetic consolation for having nth to look fwd to in work i mean work and work then when you finally drop out of the game you're too old to do anything much at all

ohno how. lol ok nvm still young. and will remain young for pretty long. actually maybe global warming ww3 melamine bird flu will take us out before we have to worry about retirement. actually i havent even started working havent graduated nth to talk about retirement ahah.

ok omg byebye